Decide when to take some personal time off
In a romantic relationship, getting enough rest to deal with difficult conversations can also be a powerful psychological tool.
Deliberately spending time in relationships can help couples change their thoughts and feelings more effectively. Time out is an effective way for couples to deal with difficult conversations or conversations that they are not ready to have at the time.
For this tool to be productive couples must agree to respect each other’s need to make room emotionally and/or physically for conversations they feel they are not ready for either it is hot and destructive.
How relationship time creates a healthy emotional break
Partners may feel emotionally unprepared for conversation when they are tired, hungry, or stressed.
Many couples I work with in therapy make the mistake of having a difficult conversation before bed, after a long day at work, or after drinking too much. As you can imagine, these conversations don’t end well because they aren’t very structured communication options.
Couples who deliberately agree to set up a conversation and meet again later create a healthy emotional break that allows partners to process their feelings, calm down and think clearly.
Rug sweepers
Couples should be able to have difficult conversations; they cannot and should not avoid them. Some couples are successful in ending a difficult conversation and professionally sweeping it under the rug; don’t talk about those problems again. They are my “rug sweeper” couples, not fully understanding what the other person is thinking or feeling.
They avoid difficult conversations and often have misconceptions about their partner’s feelings, thoughts, and beliefs. Time outs should be used as a way to emotionally prepare to revisit a difficult conversation, not to avoid it altogether.
Commitment to revisiting conversations is just as important as downtime. Contributing to finding a good time for a stimulating conversation builds trust in the relationship. Trust that both of you will show emotional support during difficult times. Revised negotiations do not guarantee that the partners will agree, but that they will be more likely to get along.
The power of simply interacting can be healing; calming destructive thoughts and providing the sense of support necessary to create a cohesive conversation. Interactive deadlines also have the tremendous benefit of creating opportunities for ongoing and dynamic dialogue. Couples often agree that problems can be solved at the same time. Absolutely false!
Most problems are not accidental
Conversations that are allowed over time continue to foster a relationship foundation of emotional openness and trust.
Here are three good ground rules for taking relationship timeouts:
1. Give each other permission
Give each other a break when the conversation gets too emotional or when one of you feels unprepared.
2. Decide on your term or time limit
Maybe you say the word “time out” or maybe it’s a wave at each other. Find out what it is and stick to it.
3. Believe you will never solve problems at a session
It can take a lot of conversations to where you’re worthy. Using these three steps will help you build your emotional trust, communication, and overall relationship quality.
Basically, leaning in less and giving your relationship more space will help you build trust in your relationship. Even as adults, there are still times in our lives when we need to pack up the toys and take them home, even if it’s only temporarily.
Conclusion
Couples remain steadfast in their daily lives and do not know the problems that can accumulate in them. These issues can get worse if a couple gets stuck in a bad fight that they are not ready for.
Taking time out of difficult situations can be a refreshing button, giving people time to think about what they want and come to the conversation in a positive light.