[Intersexuality]
[Inclusion in Legislation]
[Safe Schools]
[Workplace Equality]
[Hate Crimes]
[Reparative Therapy]
[Marriage]
[National Coming Out Day]

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Intersexuality

At least one in 2000 children is born with notably atypical sexual anatomy, i.e., an intersex condition. In our culture, sexual variation which blurs the line between male and female is stigmatized. The presence of a genital anomaly often elicits feelings of guilt and shame.

PFLAG supports efforts to end the secrecy and the medically unnecessary genital surgery experienced by some intersex persons. PFLAG welcomes the efforts of medical organizations, support groups, and others, working toward this end. PFLAG urges the entire medical community to establish and adopt a patient-centered treatment protocol under which patients are treated with the utmost sensitivity. Full and accurate information should be disclosed to parents of newborn intersex children, and appropriate referrals, including to support groups of adult intersex people, should be provided.

PFLAG encourages its members to be sensitive to the needs of intersex persons and their families as they address societal issues and biases which contribute to their shame, guilt, and isolation.

PFLAG welcomes intersex persons and their families as fully participating members.

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Inclusion in Legislation

Motion. That PFLAG can only support legislation that provides explicit inclusion of all who are included in our mission statement and ENDS.

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Safe and Welcoming Schools

Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) supports and endorses efforts by public and private elementary and secondary schools to create a safe and welcoming environment for all students and school personnel. Gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (GLBT) students, children of GLBT parents, or students who are perceived to be GLBT frequently endure verbal and physical harassment in their schools. Responsible school safety efforts must be directed to end this harassment.

As youth are recognizing their homosexuality, bisexuality or gender variance at younger ages than ever before, school administrators and personnel must address the needs and concerns of these students. They are at higher risks for social isolation, depression, drop-out and suicide. They may be isolated from their faith, family and/or friends, and they are most likely the target of harassment or violence from their classmates or teachers. Without school programs and resources to address their needs, GLBT students are abandoned by the educational system responsible for guiding and supporting all students.

This issue impacts any student who may challenge our society's assumptions of what it means to be a boy or girl. Effeminate boys or masculine girls who may or may not be gay are targeted for harassment. Transgender students face not only teasing, harassment or violence; they also are challenged by the lack of gender non-specific resources, such as restrooms, locker rooms, uniforms, or athletic teams.

PFLAG strongly advises School Boards, school administrators, faculty and support staff to adopt and implement school policy and practices that create a healthy, open and safe environment for all students respecting differences in sexual orientation or gender identity. PFLAG's national safe schools campaign, "From Our House to the School House: A Recipe for Safe Schools," has given many schools nationwide the tools to create a welcoming learning environment:

1. inclusive, age-appropriate and comprehensive curriculum that addresses sexual orientation and gender identity,
2. anti-discrimination and anti-harassment policies that are fairly enforced,
3. positive library resources that address sexual orientation and gender identity,
4. in-service trainings that address sexual orientation, gender identity, race, ethnicity and class bias
5. gay-straight alliances or gay-positive student-led groups,
6. opportunities for parents and families to participate, and
7. accommodations for transgender students.

Adopted by the PFLAG Board of Directors on July 23, 2001.

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Equality in the Workplace

Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) supports equal employment practices and employee benefits for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (GLBT) people. Employment non­discrimination policies acknowledge the value of all employees and create a safe and positive workplace environment for all. Such practices recognize the dignity of every person to have equal opportunities to work, and affirm the right of each person to participate equally.

Increasingly, public and private employers are implementing and benefiting from fair workplace practices, including same-sex partner health benefits, retirement benefits, and family medical leave. PFLAG calls upon all employers to implement such measures. Equal benefits allow all employees to enjoy a safer and more diverse workplace, and many talented workers are attracted to an environment in which all people are treated fairly. Customers appreciate companies that are fair to their workers, and many businesses have found that ensuring equal rights is good business.

PFLAG supports federal, state and local employment non­discrimination laws that include sexual orientation and gender identity. It is the responsibility of our elected officials to take a stand against discrimination and protect those who are at risk in our country's workplaces.

PFLAG supports the federal Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA), but strongly favors the addition of "gender identity" in such legislation. Many employees are discriminated against because of their gender presentation in the workplace, not necessarily their sexual orientation. Any and all discrimination is immoral and unconscionable, and we look to our elected officials to set the example and the law so all people are treated with dignity and opportunity.

Adopted by the PFLAG Board of Directors on July 23, 2001.

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Hate Crimes

Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) supports federal, state and local laws that address the increasing and deadly hate crimes against gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (GLBT) people. Crimes against GLBT people have been on the rise for the last several years[i], and these crimes hurt not only our GLBT loved ones, but us, their parents, families and friends. We recognize that violence against GLBT people is rooted in a climate of hate that also impacts people of color, youth, women, religious minorities, people with disabilities and others.

Hate crimes are simply not like any other kind of crime:

Hate Crimes are Message Crimes. Anti-GLBT hate violence, like all bias crime, damages individuals, families, groups and our communities generally. Perpetrators of anti-GLBT violence send a clear message to GLBT people, those perceived to be GLBT, or those who support them, that they are unwelcome and unsafe in a particular community.

Most Hate Crimes are Committed by “Average People.” Perpetrators are typically not extremists, but otherwise law-abiding people who disdain those who are different or fear those differences. Research suggests that anti-GLBT hate crime perpetrators perceive gay bashing to be socially sanctioned and therefore acceptable behavior.[ii]

Anti-GLBT Hate Crime, Like Other Bias Crime, Is Preventable. According to the American Psychological Association, “hate crimes are not necessarily random, uncontrollable, or inevitable occurrences,” and “there is overwhelming evidence that society can intervene to reduce or prevent many forms of violence, especially among young people, including the hate-induced violence that threatens and intimidates entire categories of people.”[iii]

Public policy that addresses these crimes is not only necessary, but sends a strong public message that violence targeted at GLBT people is wrong. PFLAG appeals to our elected and appointed officials to take a firm stand against hate crimes and to pass legislation that recognizes the serious impact of anti-GLBT violence on our communities nationwide. Our society distinguishes between crimes targeted at specific communities from other acts of violence by increasing penalties for violence against churches, synagogues, children or law enforcement officials. This is done not to diminish the significance of non-bias crime, but to express our national values to protect those at risk.

PFLAG strongly advocates hate crimes legislation that emphasizes community education and prevention and assistance for local law enforcement. It is imperative that our society has the tools and information to break the cycle of violence against GLBT people, and heal their communities if an anti-GLBT violent attack has occurred.

The victims and their families are devastated physically and emotionally after an attack, and, many times, suffer again because of insenstive law enforcement and judicial systems. PFLAG offers support, encouragement and assistance to families as they deal with their grief and the legal process. Law enforcement and the judicial system must value the needs and concerns of the survivors and their families and acknowledge the real and serious nature of these crimes.

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Reparative Therapy

Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) opposes and deplores efforts by professional and religious groups that propose to change or repair anyone's sexual orientation. We believe such attempts originate from cultural bias based on myth, misperception and misunderstanding. We encourage all professional, educational and religious organizations to work towards changing cultural biases rather than embarking on futile and damaging efforts to change sexual orientation.

Adopted by the Board of Directors, January 17, 2000

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Same-Gender Marriage

Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) believes that society at large benefits from an environment that supports committed stable relationships, including same-gender committed relationships, which provide mutual emotional, social, financial, legal and medical support. PFLAG, therefore, supports revision of federal and state statutes to extend to persons in same-gender committed relationships the right to marry with the full legal rights and benefits, as well as responsibilities and obligations.

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National Coming Out Day (NCOD)

Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays encourages gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered persons, their parents, families and friends to participate in National Coming Out Day wherever and whenever possible. (See note below.)

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Parenting

A person’s legal right to parent should not be restricted on the basis of gender identity or sexual orientation.

Parenting issues include, but are not limited to: child custody, visitation, access to fertility services, foster care, adoption.

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Adolescent Sexual Health

Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays endorses the following consensus statement by the National Commission on Adolscent Sexual Health:

Becoming a sexually helathy adult is a key development task of adolescence. Acheiving sexual health requires the integration of psychological, physical, societal, cultural, educational, economic and spiritual factors.

Sexual health encompasses sexual development and reproductive health, as well as such characteristics as the ability to develop and maintain meaningful interpersonal relationships, appreciate one's own body, interact with both genders in respectful and appropriate ways, and express affection, love and intimacy in ways consistent with one's own values.

Adults can encourage adolescent sexual health by:

• Providing accurate information and education about sexuality,
• Fostering responsible decision-making skills,
• Offering young people support and guidance to explore and affirm their values, and
• Modeling healthy sexual attitudes and behaviors, and

Society can enhance adolescent sexual health if it provides access to a comprehensive sexuality education and affordable, sensitive, and confidential reproductive health care services, as well as education and employment opportunities. Families, schools, community agencies, religious institutions, media, business, health care providers, and government at all levels may have important roles to play.

Society should encourage adolescents to delay sexual behaviors until they are ready physically, cognitively, and emotionally for mature sexual relationships and their consequences. This support should include education about:

• Intimacy,
• Sexual limit setting,
• Resisting social, media, peer, and partner pressure,
• Benefits of abstinence from intercourse, and
• Pregnancy and STD prevention.

Society must also recognize that a majority of adolescents will become involved in sexual relationships during their teen years. Adolescents should receive support and education for developing the skills to evaluate their readiness for mature sexual relationships. Responsible adolescent intimate relationships, like those of adults, should be based on shared personal values, and should be:

• Consensual,
• Non-exploitative,
• Honest,
• Pleasurable, and
• Protected against unintended pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases, if any type of intercourse occurs.

This statement reflects the overall consensus of the National Commission on Adolescent Sexual Health.

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Boy Scouts of America

Parents, Family and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG), an organization dedicated to the support of families, deplores the Boy Scouts of America's practice of excluding gay youth, leaders and volunteers from its program and services. We condemn any policy that would not allow gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered individuals to fully participate at all levels in any activity within scouting.

PFLAG asserts that one's sexual orientation and gender identity are separate from one's moral values and actions. The negative stereotypes and attitudes engendered by the Boy Scouts of America's exclusionary practice are detrimental to all youth and society as a whole, causing further alienation and lowered self esteem among gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered (GLBT) youth. The injury caused by this discrimination and these attitudes violates the tradition of the Boy Scout's values of honesty, friendliness, kindness and fair play.

PFLAG calls upon Boy Scouts of America to end its discrimination and to adopt non-discrimination policies which include GLBT youth, volunteers, and leaders.

We condemn the use of public funds by private groups that discriminate and call upon public facilities to cease their support of Boy Scouts of America until such non-discrimination policies are adopted.

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Family Values

Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) represents families around the world. One of PFLAG’s primary objectives is to maintain families in loving and supportive relationships. PFLAG challenges any concept of "traditional" family values that exclude our gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (GLBT) loved ones. PFLAG also rejects the perception that GLBT persons exist independent of the institution of family.

PFLAG defines a family as two or more persons who share resources, share responsibility for decisions, share values and goals, and have commitments to one another over a period of time. The family is that climate that one comes home to; and it is that network of sharing and commitments that most accurately describes the family unit, regardless of blood, legalities, adoption or marriage.

GLBT persons are vital members of families and society. They function in leadership and support roles at every level of public life. They are our doctors, nurses, teachers, ministers, lawyers, sales clerks, union leaders, CEO’s, auto mechanics, political representatives, athletes and office colleagues. They are our parents, children, siblings, nieces, nephews, uncles, aunts, grandparents, and cherished friends.

PFLAG and our loved ones endorse values of personal integrity, spirituality and responsibility; compassion for those in need; and commitment to healthy and mutually respectful relationships. GLBT persons further the same values as any other responsible member of society.

PFLAG denounces any effort to label our family and friends as anything other than responsible citizens and caring family members.

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Sexual Exploitation Of Youth

As a family organization, Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, Inc. (PFLAG) strongly condemns the sexual exploitation of children by any individual, group, or organization, in any form and under any circumstance.

Although the majority of sexual abusers of children are heterosexual men, and the majority of victims are young girls, the North American Man/Boy Love Association (NAMBLA) is a pedophile organization whose sole purpose is to facilitate sex between adult men and young boys. PFLAG, therefore, repudiates NAMBLA and its aims.

PFLAG opposes the inclusion of NAMBLA in any umbrella organization, coalition, event, or activity that is associated with the gay, lesbian, bisexual communities or their families and friends.

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Human Sexuality

In Order That Our Children May Grow To Healthy, Whole Adulthood, We Believe:

A knowledge of human sexuality and an understanding of the human relationships which are important to the full development of the individual should be introduced to the child in age-appropriate ways very early in life.

The family, as the primary caregiver, should constantly reinforce the teachings as the child matures.

Parents, to be effective teachers and models, must clarify their own knowledge, beliefs, and value systems in order that they might be comfortable in transmitting them to their children.

An understanding of one's sexuality can be enhanced through agencies outside the family such as: Schools, religious institutions, youth groups, and health services. These are not to substitute for the family but rather to support parents in providing current information through another caring environment.

A study of human sexuality is only complete and honest if it includes homosexuality; therefore, we urge parents teachers to impart to children a non-judgmental understanding of homosexuality.

Since approximately 10% of our children are homosexual, adults need to be able to relate sensitively to young persons who are having difficulty with this understanding of their sexuality.

All children should be made aware of the health risks in certain kinds of sexual activity. They should be given realistic and useful help in the avoidance of such risks.

Gay men and lesbian women can lead productive and meaning lives, and their sexuality can be incorporated into their lives in caring, committed, and loving relationships.

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Organizational Independence from Faith Communities

PFLAG, and its affiliates, regardless of location, are non-sectarian, non-denominational, and not affiliated with any religious institution. In order that gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered persons, their parents, families and friends understand PFLAG’s independence from organizational ties to any faith community, PFLAG affirms:

• The importance of personal expressions of spiritual beliefs, and organized religion, as well as individual decisions for freedom from religion;
• The complete independence of any PFLAG affiliate from organizational ties to any religious institution, church, synagogue, temple or other place of worship or community of faith;
• The need for a clear understanding by PFLAG affiliates that a choice to meet in a place of worship must not in any way reflect, or imply, the promotion of any particular religion, for example, in programs and newsletters;
• That the location of PFLAG meeting space in no way implies membership in any religious institution, or exclusion of any individuals;
• The seeking of affirmation, support, and full participation at all levels within religions for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered civil rights;
• That if, at any time, an affiliate is found to be in violation of this PFLAG policy, affiliate status may be withdrawn or denied.

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Comprehensive Health And Sex Education

In keeping with the Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays’ mission statement, PFLAG promotes the health and well-being of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered persons and their parents, families and friends.

As an organization, PFLAG joins other noted national and international groups in recognizing that we are sexual beings throughout our lives and that learning about our sexuality and gender identity and expression is an integral part of living. PFLAG acknowledges that spectrums of sexuality and gender exist, and that individuals may experience their sexuality and gender differently throughout their lifetime.

To the extent that sexuality education guides our understanding of sexual behavior, PFLAG encourages the availability of comprehensive, professionally recognized health and sex education for all persons, including education about sexual orientation and gender identity. In addition, we endorse the premise that the primary goal of sexuality education is the promotion of sexual health and that sexuality education is a lifelong process of acquiring information and forming attitudes, beliefs and values about identity, intimacy, and healthy, respectful sexual relationships.

PFLAG encourages local, state and federal education entities to adopt age-appropriate health and sex education policies, including sexual orientation and gender identity, for students of all ages.

PFLAG recognizes the need for accurate and complete information about HIV/AIDS and all sexually transmitted diseases for persons of all sexualities, ethnicities, ages and backgrounds. PFLAG strongly endorses efforts to that end sponsored and conducted by community-based groups, governmental agencies, private businesses and others.

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Statement To The Radical Right

Based on scientific research, it is estimated that one family in four includes a member who is lesbian, gay, or bisexual. These cherished members of the PFLAG family are an integral stripe in the multicultural flag of diversity that is the backbone of this nation. We are all family.

This statement is addressed to all right-wing political and religious leaders who accuse our children of child abuse, recruitment, and sexual depravity:

These accusations and distortions are not supported by facts and research. We conclude that they are made with the intention of exploiting our children and family members in order to further fund raising efforts, to provide a platform of aggrandizement for people who would otherwise fade into obscurity, and to satiate their obsessive need to preach a gospel of hate and discrimination. This epidemic of hypocrisy must be stopped.

No God of our understanding intends for his/her words to be used to propagate hate. The misuse of biblical texts to attack the lesbian, gay, and bisexual community is seen by the PFLAG family as a shameful and deliberate attempt to destroy our children and will be challenged at every opportunity.

The preaching of hatred and misinformation against our children harms all children because it teaches children to hate and perpetuates violence against lesbians, gays, and bisexuals.

The physical and psychological abuse and neglect which contribute to the high rate of suicide of our teenagers and young adults are a national disgrace and must be stopped.

We vehemently reject the notion that the death of so-called "innocent victims" of AIDS are more tragic that the deaths of our children. Our children are no more expendable. The suffering of our families is no less painful.

We intend to have justice in this entire country so that all lesbian, gay, and bisexual children will grow up in a world which understands and accepts them as equal citizens, entitled to the benefits of the civil rights granted to all people by the United States Constitution.

Our outrage comes from the knowledge of our children's suffering and is born of our love for them and our pride in the enormous contributions that they make on a daily basis to the betterment of this society.

We intend to gain the support of all reasonable people in our fight against purveyors of hatred and discrimination.

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