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Gathering Information with an Open Mind
Particularly in the recent decades, lay persons, scientists, clerics, sociologists, psychologists, and educators alike have been questioning traditional beliefs about human sexuality. With such important debate, myths and misinformation are gradually being replaced by knowledge and more enlightened views. At the same time, however, it can be confusing because of divergent views. Even gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered persons will report different life experiences. Nonetheless, we can seek a deeper understanding about sexual orientation and gender identity so we can come from a place of clarity rather than ignorance and stereotypes.
Be suspicious of those that claim to have found "the ultimate truth". Human sexuality and gender identity are complex. In addition, you might profit from staying away from polemic, polarized, judgmental lines of thinking. They probably come from radical thinkers who have a destructive agenda.
Based on our own experiences: Take your time. Gather information with an open mind. Don't take anything as "the ultimate truth" (even statements on this website!). Question old beliefs. Think, think, think... For parents like you, seeking support and knowledge, having a gay loved one becomes an opportunity to learn a great deal about themselves and their loved ones. Though initially it may seem like an overwhelming task, you too can make it an opportunity to create an even closer relationship with your loved one.
Education Dispells Misconceptions
Much of our initial reaction, stems from misinformation about the topic of human sexuality. For parents in particular, it's very unlikely that part of our expectations for our children included the possibility that they might be homosexual. That in of itself can be perceived as an overwhelming blow to our beliefs system.
The more we learned about human sexual orientation and sexual identity, the easier we found to understand our loved ones. In turn, we realized that our negative reactions were unfounded. It made our transition into acceptance easier on us and our loved ones.
Remember that at one point in history, maintaining the belief that Earth was not the center of the Universe was considered heretic. People were put to death for trying to prove that Earth is round. Nowadays, we find those old assumptions laughable; but for those defending them, those were moral principles deeply ingrained in them. In our culture, people are not put to death for questioning old societal beliefs, but the fact remains that our gay children still suffer discrimination based on misinformation and beliefs that we may one day find laughable.
An intolerable truth, even in our society, is that many gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered persons have suffered persecution, humiliation, bashing, even death because of their sexual orientation or gender identity. None of us would wish that on our own children. Unfortunately, however, many parents have chosen to stay in ignorance, to the detriment of their own children. This is a deplorable situation, which you would certainly would not want your own child to live through. Otherwise, you probably wouldn't have made this far reading the information on our website.
