About the Denton Chapter

Does PFLAG Promote Homosexuality
Bisexuality and Transgenderism

For most of us, when we first found out that a loved one was lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgendered, we were confused and afraid. It's understandable that anyone in such a state would not want to have someone push some agenda on us.

When we started attending meetings, we realized that the only agenda was to share ideas and feelings with one another for mutual support and to educate ourselves to better understand what our loved ones had revealed to us.

If you keep an open mind, you will realize that homosexuality and transgenderism cannot be "promoted" any more than heterosexuality can be promoted. You cannot talk someone into being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered. Even if they tried, could anyone have talked you into being homosexual? Certainly not!

Edie, the aunt of a gay loved one describes her experience with that notion:

It was a total surprise when my nephew Mark came out to me. We always had a special connection since he was born, so it wasn't very difficult for me to tell him, "I've known you all my life. I know the goodness you have in your heart. If you tell it's so, then so it is. I love you just the same.

But even months after he came out and after many open conversations, something still nagged me. "What is it that made you gay? Did someone influence you? Was it something you picked up when you lived in Holland?" I asked him.

He said, "Imagine for one second that someone told you how great it is to be a lesbian. Suppose they explained to you that you were not really hurting anyone, and that you could just give it a try for a while. What's the big deal?" I was reluctant initially, and he insisted, "Be really open-minded... just for one second..."

But I already knew the answer. "No way! I just couldn't do it. No matter how open-minded I tried to be, it just wouldn't be in my nature. I don't see how I could possibly be so emotionally attached to another woman that I..." Before I could finish my thought, I had an immediate, chilling realization that Mark had been living like that his whole life. We were the ones imposing our own notions on him. We expected him to live in a way that, as I myself put it, just wasn't in his nature and couldn't make him happy... I had answered my own question.

That day, our relationship grew even closer because I came to understand something so very basic about him.

So What's PFLAG's Agenda?

In meetings and through talking to other parents and families, you will find people at different stages of self-acceptance and acceptance of their loved ones. Some are still struggling. Others have come to a place where it's a "non-issue." You may not agree with all of us; you may quickly identify with others. We draw our strength and effectiveness as a support group from that diversity and from realizing that we're not alone.

We recommned that newcomers attend a few monthly meetings back to back. Just give it a try because you will be not only helping yourself but also showing your loved one that you care. End of Page