Parents, Families, and Friends of
Support Education AdvocacyQuestions and Answers
For Those Whose Loved Ones Just Came Out
Click on the questions, and see the answers below:
What is happening to me?... Why tell me? Is it my fault? Who recruited my child? What about the law? Should we tell? Is there objective information? Is it a sin? Is it unnatural? Am I in denial? How does my child feel? Is there a cure? Why doesn't my child "act gay"? Will my child have a lonely life? No more grandchildren? Who can I talk to? What about AIDS? Any books I can read?
Can It Be Cured?
No. It's not a disease; therefore, it can't be cured.
Some religious groups and even (not-so-reputable) psychologists offer reparative or conversion therapies. The American Psychiatric Association, the American Psychiatric Association, and the National Association of Social Workers, among other reputable professional organizations, oppose such practices.
Studies have actually shown that reparative therapies can be harmful, creating problems that can last a lifetime, and can be debilitating.
The few studies claiming success have been shown to be fatally flawed.
At best, "treatments" succeed at repressing sexuality, which ultimately
makes it come out in another form (such as depression).
Not convinced? Here's an extract from the National Committee on
Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Issues National Association of Social Workers:
People seek mental health services for many reasons. Accordingly, it is fair to assert that lesbians and gay men seek therapy for the same reasons that heterosexual people do. However, the increase in media campaigns, often coupled with coercive messages from family and community members, has created an environment in which lesbians and gay men often are pressured to seek reparative or conversion therapies, which cannot and will not change sexual orientation. Aligned with the American Psychological Association’s (1997) position, NCLGB believes that such treatment potentially can lead to severe emotional damage. Specifically, transformational ministries are fueled by stigmatization of lesbians and gay men, which in turn produces the social climate that pressures some people to seek change in sexual orientation (Haldeman, 1994). No data demonstrate that reparative or conversion therapies are effective, and in fact they may be harmful (Davison, 1991; Haldeman, 1994).
More on the So-Called “Reparative” Therapies
Based on outdated medical theories and radical religious beliefs, ex-gay ministries try to modify homosexuals' natural sexual orientation. In fact, such ministries deny evidence that differences in sexual orientation exist, thus accepting only heterosexuality. Sadly, this line of thinking, which is resistant to any further analyses, has become a political tool and justification to deny gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender civil rights.
Those who believe that homosexuality is not innate, actually a choice or an illness, then see it fit to "treat" it through the combination of "sound Christian psychological teachings and therapy." (Parents & Friends of Ex-Gays)
Many PFLAG parents have seen firsthand how damaging this "therapy" has been to their children. It is important that we recognize and educate based on facts and reputable professional opinions.
Here are some facts on "reparative" therapy:
- In 1973. The American Psychiatric Association removed homosexuality from the list of mental and emotional disorders. If homosexuality is not an illness or condition, it need not be "cured."
- In 1990, the American Psychological Association stated that scientific no evidence exists showing the effectiveness of conversion therapy. In addition, the APA determined that it can cause harm to those subjected to it. In 1998, the American Psychiatric Association stated that "the potential risks are great, including depression, anxiety and self-destructive behavior..."
- According to the American Medical Association, "most of the emotional disturbance experienced by gay men and lesbians around their sexual identity is not based on physiological causes but rather is due more to a sense of alienation in an un-accepting environment. For this reason, aversion therapy is no longer recommended for gay men and lesbians."
- According to the Surgeon General's Call to Action to Promote Sexual Health and Responsible Sexual Behavior (2001) homosexuality is not "a reversible lifestyle choice."
PFLAG's Position on “Reparative” Therapies
PFLAG's mission is to support our gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered children, family members and friends and promote their health and well being; educate others about the facts on homosexuality and the negative effects that misinformation has on gay, lesbian and bisexual people and society; and to advocate to end discrimination and to secure equal rights.
It is critical that we answer the lies about "reparative therapy" and "ex-gays" in our local communities, whether in the media or in conversation. The damage that can be done by reparative therapy is real. It can destroy someone's self esteem and faith and may lead to self-destructive behavior. It is important that we provide the truth about gay, lesbian and bisexual people and the positive contributions that they make.
