Parents, Families, and Friends of
Support Education AdvocacyQuestions and Answers
For Those Whose Loved Ones Just Came Out
Click on the questions, and see the answers below:
What is happening to me?... Why tell me? Is it my fault? Who recruited my child? What about the law? Should we tell? Is there objective information? Is it a sin? Is it unnatural? Am I in denial? How does my child feel? Is there a cure? Why doesn't my child "act gay"? Will my child have a lonely life? No more grandchildren? Who can I talk to? What about AIDS? Any books I can read?
Is It My Fault?
Wondering if you did something wrong? Wondering if there
is something you didn't do right? Why has this happened
to you?
Don't feel guilty. You didn't do anything wrong. Chances
are you're a wonderful parent, and your gay child is going to be
a wonderful adult like yourself. Your gay or transgendered child
isn't that way because of anything you did, nor anything anyone
else did, for that matter.
As science learns more about the origins of homosexuality and
transgenderism, it is becoming increasingly clear that these orientations
have their origins very early in life. Most gay men and a large number
of lesbians will tell you that they knew early in life—in some cases,
awareness of being "different" are among the earliest memories. Some
evidence even indicates prenatal influences, even genetic patterns are involved.
The old claim by psychologists that homosexuality indicates a weak father
and a domineering mother have long since been disproven by study after
study. The only psychologists that still maintain such positions are those who
have a hidden agenda—usually a religious agenda, or a deeply homophobic
attitude. Objective science has long since abandoned the idea that parenting styles
has any significant influence on homosexual or transgendered orientations.
The most important emotional contribution any parent can make to their childrens'
lives is to love them. Like most parents, you've done that, and continue to do so,
or you wouldn't be here reading this. And now that you know about your
child's orientation, they need your love and support more than ever. That's
what this web page is all about—helping you love your child and giving
him or her the support he or she needs.
